5 questions to ask when planning a phone sex date
Hello #MomentumMen!
Whether you’re separated by pandemic travel restrictions, in a long-distance relationship, or just looking to try something new, there’s many reasons why you might want to plan a phone sex date! Phone sex can be a super hot way to connect to your partner when you’re not physically together.
If you’re planning a phone sex date, here are four questions you should ask to help everything go smoothly:
1. Are you going to video call or just use audio?
Do you want to see your partner while you’re having sex, or do you want to stick to audio? It can be arousing to see your partner undressing and touching themselves – perhaps on your instructions! Equally, there’s something very intimate about just being able to hear your partner’s sex sounds in your ear. Before your phone sex date, you should discuss what you’re both comfortable with and choose what app or device you’re going to use for the call.
Remember that you and your partner don’t have to do the same thing. If you feel anxious but you’d like to see your partner’s face, you could have your camera turned off while they have theirs on.
2. What are you going to do?
You don’t need to plan what you’re going to say to each other word-for-word, but it can be useful to set some expectations about what you’re going to do. This can help avoid any potential awkwardness that might come from not knowing what do say. Maybe you’re going to talk about what you would do if you were physically together, or maybe you want to relive a past sexual experience you shared. Phone sex can also be a great way to role-play a fantasy that you’re interested in exploring together.
Of course, it’s totally ok to mix and match these! Maybe you start off telling each other about the last time you masturbated and then move on to telling each other how to touch yourselves.
3. Are you going to use any sex toys?
Your partner might not be there to touch you, but you can use sex toys! Do you want to imagine that the butt plug inside you is actually your partner’s fingers – or that they’re there, holding the vibrator against you? There are many app-controlled sex toys you could use if you want your partner to have control over the speed or pattern of the toy’s vibrations. Alternatively, you could instruct your partner how to use a toy on themselves how you would if you were there.
As always, if you’re going to use sex toys (especially if you’re using them for penetration) make sure you use lube! A lube like Momentum Water-Based Lubricant is perfect, because you shouldn’t use a silicone-based lube with any silicone toys.
4. What language do you want to use?
Even if you already have a good idea of the kind of language your partner likes, it’s still useful to discuss the language you’re going to use during your phone sex date. When having sex in a way that focusses less on touch and more on other senses, it’s useful to check in about what words your partner wants to hear. Talk about the words you like to use for your body, what words you find hot – and if there are any words that are a complete turn off and would take them out of a sexy headspace.
Remember that if you do get thrown out of a sexy headspace, it is completely ok to stop! Even if you’ve planned a phone sex date, it’s important to check in for consent again before and during the call. It’s important to tell your partner if something isn’t working for you or if you’re not in the mood to continue.
5. What are you going to do after the call?
Instead of being able to lie in bed together and enjoy the post-sex glow, a phone sex date will often leave you and your partner on your own. It’s important to talk about what you want to do when the sex is finished so you don’t end up feeling isolated or disconnected from your partner. Maybe you’re going to stay on the phone after the sex to keep talking or fall asleep while still on the line, or maybe you’re going to keep texting each other while you go and get something to eat so you can stay connected while you unwind.
What are your tips for planning a phone sex date? Thank you for reading #MomentumMen!
